Have you ever met someone who wasn’t just an interesting person, but was deeply fascinating?  That was my experience when I first met Dmitry Mikheyev.  It was almost by chance that we met, and about 30 seconds into our conversation, I turned on my phone to record our conversation for a video blog (If you speak Russian, you can watch it here).  Although I have only met him once since, I believe he is someone that I can call a friend.

Mr. Mikheyev did mildly scold me, while we were drinking tea in my home, for continuing to speak to him in formal Russian; that is, adding the additional respectful form of his patronymic name, Dmitry Fyodorovich, asking jokingly if it was because of his age.  The truth is, although I don’t agree with all of his viewpoints, I have a deep respect for Dmitry Fyodorovich’s personal history and experience, and I recognize he is someone that I can learn from.

In a time where there doesn’t seem to be an end to tension in international relations, I thought it would make sense to move away from the usual lighthearted content of this blog to present a point of view that is perhaps a bit different than what we would normally read or hear in America.

First, a bit about Dmitry Mikheyev:  He was born in Siberia before being was accepted as a student at the prestigious Moscow State University, eventually earning his Ph. D. in theoretical physics. At the time, he had some questions about the way that the Soviet Union was run and began running a “discussion club” on these topics.  For example, as he explained to my children, “In the Soviet Union, we didn’t have personal property, the government owned everything… including us, and I didn’t like that”.

In 1970, Mr. Mikheyev attempted to escape the Soviet Union to the West, but was caught and sentenced to six years of prison in the notorious Perm-36 prison facility “for betraying the motherland”.  In 1980, he found himself living in the United States.  I think for most Americans reading this post, this might seem like a typical story that we read about from time to time in the newspapers, and we might already be thinking “this sounds like our kind of guy”.  But what happened next is what makes Mr. Mikheyev’s story so fascinating.

Mr. Mikheyev soon found himself at the Hudson Institute, advising top US security officials on Soviet-US relations.  It was here that he became disillusioned with America, as he explains it “for Biblical reasons”.  “Christian Americans believe in a devil who can never change, correct?” asks Mr. Mikheyev.  “Well, do you remember what President Reagan called the Soviet Union?  He called it ‘the evil empire’.  We were compared to the devil, and what does that mean?  It means we can never change.”

Let’s take a few minutes to read one of Mr. Mikheyev’s essays to hear about his experience and point of view in his own words.  But before we do, it’s probably worth mentioning that Mr. Mikheyev did not want me to share his thoughts at first.  He said “These are religious thoughts, and I know that these issues can be touchy in America.”  I was able to convince him that although many will probably disagree, and in fact those of you who know me well will understand that there are points here that I don’t agree with, it might be constructive for his opinion to be heard.  So, please read this with the understanding that this is not an opinion that he is trying to push on you.

Why twenty-five years after great ideological victory in the Cold War, Russia is still portrayed as an intrinsically reactionary, imperialist power, a major threat to Western civilization?

Dmitry Mikheyev

 Secularists insist that imperialism and undemocratic proclivities of Russians are “in their blood,” i.e. genetically predicated, while religious fundamentalists believe that Russia has been divinely destined to be an “evil empire.” 

 The decisive moment of my reckoning of the question came on August 22nd of 1991, when the

Soviet “Evil Empire” collapsed. At the time, I was at the Hudson institute, a conservative think tank in Indianapolis. I was ecstatic to see the totalitarian regime taking its last gasp and dying right in front of my eyes. The spectacle of the Evil Empire’s agony didn’t bring much joy to my colleagues though. To my incredulity, they were confused, if not upset. Not only neoconservatives were despondent, liberals seemed downhearted as well.

 For me, the Cold War was over. Russia had shed her empire and abandoned her messianic drive to spread Communism all over the globe. She radically changed her socio-economic system and was now striving to ‘integrate into the ‘civilized’ world. Many of us Russian-Americans were elated and eagerly anticipated a new era in Russo-American relations, a partnership of two great nations. We dreamt of these two countries embracing each other and working together toward a more peaceful and prosperous world.

 Personally, I dreamt of playing the role of a bridge builder between them. I was dismayed to find out however, that American intellectual and political elites, had a totally different take on the situation. In their eyes, Russia remained essentially the same old Soviet Union if only downsized. As General William Odom (director of the NSA during the President Regan administration) argued, yes, the Evil Empire was experiencing a temporary setback, but one day it would recover and get back to oppressing small freedom-loving neighbors. Soon intellectuals and politicians were scrambling to find signs of Russia’s undemocratic drift and growing “authoritarianism and neo-imperialist ambitions” while Cold War veterans were back in the trenches, arguing that the policy of containing and curtailing Russia should continue. Russia’s resurgent aggression had been allegedly demonstrated in Chechnya, in the “invasions” of Georgia, Ukraine, and Syria… next are the Baltic states. Only NATO could save them from the Evil monster.

 So, they kept expanding NATO toward Russian borders. Serbia, Russia’s close ally in Europe, was bombed and dismembered. Separatism and “freedom fighters” of Chechnya and other “oppressed peoples” were covertly supported.

 Here is a cognitive dissonance. Why would a victory over your mortal enemy be so disappointing or even distressing? Think of it. You fought a long and exhaustive war and finally defeated the enemy. Russians surrendered en masse to the ideology of liberal, democratic capitalism. Why would you sit down and grieve and then resume fighting? It took me a long time and considerable effort to solve this cognitive puzzle. Now I seem to understand the mindset of these warriors. My life-long interest in the worldview and mentality of Bolshevism shed light on the fundamentalist mindset. It is this mindset, I believe, that underlines Russophobia and hostile policies toward the New Russia. The roots of the American fear of Russia are much deeper and more generic than Communist ideology or “Russia’s innate imperialist ambitions.” They have religious and existential overtones, and I am afraid they are likely to endure for a long time. 

 In my view, ultimately, three tenets underline the fundamentalist mindset: 1. the good-vs- evil dualism, 2. the doctrine of predestination and 3. apocalypticism (belief in the pending end of the world). Taken together, they explain fundamentalists’ existential hatred, fear, and hostility toward Russia and, I dare say, other Christians as well.

 The polarization of everything appears an obvious and universal rule of the world: plus and minus, pull and push, light and darkness, male and female, left and right. It is tempting to apply this dichotomized approach to living things, particularly humans: material and spiritual, life and death, right and wrong, moral and immoral, beautiful and ugly, happiness and suffering, liberal and conservative, saved or not saved. Scientifically speaking, such reductionism has nothing to do with the real world.  That’s why fundamentalist are so hostile toward science.

 Dichotomization permeates the political philosophy of fundamentalist politicians. Neoconservative ideologue Robert Kagan has admitted, “Americans generally see the world divided between good and evil, between friends and enemies.” President George W. Bush Jr. himself articulated this Manichean worldview in the wake of 9/11 when he proclaimed, “Either you’re for us or against us,” and so did most Republicans.

 For fundamentalists, every political issue– indeed, every disputed aspect of national and international life– is a struggle between good and evil, God and the Devil, Hell and Paradise.

There cannot be a middle ground, a partial solution. Either you are in heaven or in hell. There can be no such a thing as “between,” at least until the final judgment. They see every individual as an agent of either good or evil forces. That is to say that the evil individual is incapable of good feelings and actions (love, compassion, sacrifice). For them, the gray, middle ground is a wicked sophistry, an intentional mudding of waters. This is one reason why they dislike intellectuals. The latter, they think, tend to confuse the ‘gut feeling,’ the infamous common sense. They are “commonsensical” and, in fact, they are afraid of drowning in innuendos, different views and theories. Uncertainties, fuzziness and vagueness are all the Devil’s way of trapping simple folks’ minds in doubts and vacillations. Good and evil don’t mix, or, more precisely, if they mesh, evil prevails. Hence, solutions, they suggest, are binary – more government or less government, more regulation or less regulation, raising taxes or lowering taxes, fighting or flying. Striving for compromises and balanced decisions are seen as wishy-washy muddling through, a sure recipe for defeat and failure. Leadership is associated with resoluteness and decisiveness, not with thoughtfulness. A quick result is valued over an optimal solution; toughness over patience; action over dithering. Once the enemy has been identified, he has to be crushed with overwhelming force. Negotiations with “the evil guys” can only corrupt the pristine souls of the good guys. Fear that the bad guy can outsmart the good guy leads to reliance on brute force, hence, tendency to “shoot first, ask later.”

 They reason that Evil cannot be reformed, only destroyed. Because Russia was not occupied as were Germany and Japan in 1945, only crippled, its evil nature was not eradicated. Hence, Russia will recover and try to reassert her power over former client states. “Forget the Islamic threat, says Robert Kagan, the coming battle will be between autocratic nations like Russia and China and the rest.”

 Why, on earth, Russia and China? After all, China is the world’s chief manufacturer of consumer goods and a major sponsor of American prosperity. Russia is a European Christian nation and the world’s biggest producer of energy, as well as a leading producer of grain and raw materials.  The customary theory of economic rivalry, market and resources driven imperialism, is too shallow and materialistic for those who think in cosmic terms. In the “epic, decisive great battle” with the Devil, only these two powers can field armies mighty enough to confront the forces of Jesus.  And Russia, not China, will lead the way.

 Why? Because fundamentalists are intrinsic racists. They read the Old Testament as justifying the inequality of races. They think that God created different races and people for a purpose, with different roles in the world. The whites are destined to rule, blacks – to be slaves and servants, others — to be laborers. They dismiss Chinese as an “inferior race” lacking the capacity for original thinking, creativity and the leadership potential of a white northern race. These obedient laborers are not strong and creative enough to stand to the superior race of Anglo-Saxons.

 Russians, on the other hand, are white, hardy; they have proven themselves capable of crushing several of the most powerful military forces of time. They are smart and creative, which fundamentalists associate with a stamp of the Devil, and they possess a massive nuclear power. Therefore, only Russia can fulfill the Prophecy — rally, equip, and lead the hordes of God’s enemies. Remember what the former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney stated: Russia is “without question, our number one geopolitical foe.”

 The second key tenet of fundamentalism is apocalypticism i.e. the belief in the end-time destruction of the world. Some 40% of Americans say they believe that events described in the Book of Revelation are going to come true. They think that current skirmishes with Satanic forces must one day culminate in the decisive contest — the Battle of Armageddon in which Russia (and possibly China and Muslims) will constitute the army of the Antichrist.

 Logically apocalyptic and good-vs- evil mentality constructs are connected to the same zero-sum logic… the material world (humans included because flesh is material) is so fundamentally flawed (corrupted) that it cannot be improved and must be destroyed.

 I dare to theorize that fundamentalists, such as Jerry Falwell, rely mostly on the Old Testament while the progressive evangelicals – on the New Testament. Fundamentalists hate the progressives’ sympathy for many politically liberal positions, their rejection of violence, militarism and injustice, and blasphemous reinterpretation of the Sacred Scripture.

 According to the fundamentalist worldview, only totally misguided liberals can advocate universal morality, i.e. morality equally applicable to all people and all cultures.

 To them, universal morality is nonsense at best, and a devilish plot at worst.

 Indeed, how could freedom and justice be equally applied to good and evil people or nations?

How could the Devil be allowed to exercise freedom to corrupt, convert and enslave good people? Justice toward evil means injustice toward the good, because giving to some means taking from others. Such conception of freedom means liberation of good people and the constraining of bad ones. The good-vs- evil mentality logically and inevitably leads to double standards – for those who are good, and those who are evil. In dealing with evil the ends justify the means. Love, mercy, compassion, proper procedures and rules…such do not apply to the minions of the Devil; anything short of total annihilation therefore should be regarded as a flagrant betrayal of God.

 Also fundamentalists criticize other Protestant denominations for compromising with Darwinism. Here I suggest that the doctrine of predestination contradicts evolution toward the better of both individuals and nations. Indeed, if individual’s destiny is preordained before he/she was conceived by God, his/her evolution is impossible. Then, again, I see inconsistency here: does God preordain someone to be a thief or a murderer? Or, perhaps, God constantly changes His mind? In short, the doctrine of predestination seems incompatible with evolution: either you believe in the existence of an immutable God’s plan for the world, or God created the world, set the rules, and then removed Himself from it.

 The Cold War standoff had perfectly fit the apocalyptic and good-vs- evil mentality of fundamentalists. There was an implacable “evil other” and the looming nuclear Armageddon.

Clear and simple. Today’s situation is somewhat more complicated. Still, as then, their political belief system rests on phantom primordial fears of global dimensions. In my view, only such paranoia can fully explain why American military expenditures exceed those of the rest of the world.

My discovery of the racist, violent, imperialistic, ignorant, conspiratorial and paranoid America was shocking. It contradicted my entire ‘theory’ of American culture and civilization.

The greatest threat to America isn’t the Taliban, Al Qaeda, ISIS, authoritarian Russia or Communist China. The greatest threat to peace and prosperity of humanity is fundamentalism, especially Muslim and Christian. It is fundamentalists’ irrational fears and hatred, fanaticism and apocalypticism, their global ambitions and zeal, which represent the greatest threat to the world and America itself.

 Quoting the neocon guru Robert Kagan, America is a “dangerous nation,” and it will remain so until this powerful minority of the American empire is convinced of its supremacy, exceptionalism, and divine right to rule the world.

 Indeed, when a country as powerful as the USA is so scared and angry, humanity is in deep trouble. It has already been dragged into the war of fundamentalists of the three major monotheistic religions (Islam, Judaism and Christianity), each fighting for its own version of the Heavenly Kingdom.

I am imagining that perhaps some of my evangelical Christian friends might read this text and take some offense, or you might want to shout, “That’s not what we meant!”  Perhaps you want to quote some Scripture and “help” Dmitry understand.   I would understand your indignation.  I am an evangelical Christian, and I do believe in good and evil, absolutely- this has created some friendly, yet serious conversation, that I have been privileged to share with Dmitry Fyodorovich.

But none of that is why I have posted this.  Instead, let’s consider that if we are accusing others of being evil, we are insinuating that we are good.

As Solzehnitsyn famously wrote, “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

Let’s consider how we have come to a point of believing that we are so exceptional as a nation, a thought system that doesn’t fit well with the basic Christian virtue of humility.

Can Russia change?  Of course, it can, and it has.  So has America.  Regardless of your political leanings, you will probably agree that America’s standards and expectations of its leadership have drastically changed over the last couple of decades.  So, yes, we too are changing, but perhaps not for the better.

At the end of the day, regardless of our political or religious leanings, if we don’t believe that our enemy can change, then any pursuit of relationship is a waste of time.  So, America, please know that the world is listening to you right now.  Are you blaming and fearing “them?”  Or will you take a moment to listen, understand, and change?

Not so fast! The OXPAHA is ever vigilant.

This elite grocery store security force, code named OXPAHA, is comprised of a countless mass of men and women, held together by their fierce commitment to unblinkingly  observe potatoes, grechka, kvass, and kefir being rung up at the cash register, sometimes 24 hours at a time.

It is the OXPAHA who holds the final authority on proper grocery store entrance or exit.  And if you are new to Russia, you might find yourself in quite an unpleasant tangle with this foreboding authority figure.  He or she is not paid for critical thinking.  His or her gainful employment is based on following rules.

Thus, as you read this, please bear in mind, that you are not to think.  Instead, you are just to follow the rules.  When entering or exiting a grocery store in Russia, don’t think.  Just do.

Here’s the good news.  Most Russian grocery stores have different rules.

However, if you are unfortunate enough to break any of the rules, the OXPAHA will helpfully scold you, in Russian.  This educational process of public shaming is unpleasant, yet highly effective.  So, no worries, you will probably never break any rule more than once.

Let’s get started:

1. Obtaining a shopping cart or basket:  As soon as you exit your car, or otherwise approach the grocery store in question, casually scan the exterior.  Are there folks already finding their shopping carts?  If so, join them.  This is a “get your grocery cart outside” kind of Russian grocery store outfit.  If you’re planning to buy a bunch of groceries, that’s good news, because it also means you can bring your grocery cart (or “trolley”, depending on where you’re from) back outside to your car.  Alternatively, beware of grocery stores in shopping centers that have a set “trolley freedom zone”- you don’t want your trolley to be halted by the OXPAHA a few hundred meters from your car.  Wondering how to free your grocery cart that is chained to all of the others?  A 10-ruble coin will do the trick:

Yes, if you just slide a ten ruble coin into that little slot, you will have freed your grocery trolley and be on your way.  On the other hand, I have a lot of folks writing in and asking, “Andy, but what if I don’t have a ten-ruble coin?”.  That’s  a great question, and I’m glad you asked.  You see, “I know a guy” who has tried American nickels and quarters, 5 ruble coins, and perhaps a few other metally type objects, to no avail.  It appears that the trolley will not bow to any counterfeit measures, although I once did see a guy approach the trolley rack with something other than a ten-ruble coin and walk away with a trolley and an expression much like when the cat has swallowed the canary.

Fortunately, the authorities have foreseen a situation wherein a prospective customer would NOT have a ten ruble coin in their pocket.  That is why they installed these:

You can insert your 100 ruble or 500 ruble bill and get a big old pocketful of ten ruble coins that will certainly make the cashier blush with pleasure at checkout.

Please also bear in mind that if you are in a grocery store and see a trolley that appears abandoned, it is not.  Don’t take it.  The owner of the trolley did not get it so easily and will not be happy if you swipe it.

2. Entering The Store:  No, not so fast!  You successfully have your grocery trolley in hand, but what should you do if you happened to bring some luggage?  Well, the easiest thing would probably be to take it back home, or put it in the “boot” of your car.  But what should you do if you are carrying a bag, a backpack, or a suitcase, but do not have a car or home?  Well, naturally, this would indicate that you have come to the grocery store with your sticky little fingers to “borrow” the goods on the shelves while covertly placing them in your Samsonite.

Happily, the authorities were not to be foiled by this rascally behavior, and they also understood that not all prospective customers would have a car or home.  So, they installed lockers.  Once you have arrived in the store, scan the entrance for lockers.  Do you see some?  Great!  Put your items in the locker, lock it, grab the giant key that is attached to the hubcap and get on with your shopping.  Don’t see a locker?  Perhaps you see this?

Take your various items, place them in a plastic bag.  Now seal the bag with the hot iron.  This is a do-it-yourself service.  Don’t burn off your fingers.

But what should you do if you have a bag, but don’t see lockers or a plastic bag melty machine, and you don’t have a car or home?  That’s a great question.  The answer is simple, just walk into the store acting totally normal.  You should be totally fine.  Nothing to worry about here.  However, be warned that the OXPAHA now have the right to search your bag, but only if you don’t act normal.  So, be sure to just dissolve into the masses and act normal.  Everything, really, should be just fine.  Don’t worry about it.  Just act normal.

3.  Leaving The Store:  There are two very different scenarios here, based on your situation:

• You Found What You Were Looking For And Would Like To Checkout:  Good Job!  Do that then!  Now, the cashier will have a few quick questions for you.  She or he will want to know if you have the store’s loyalty card.  After you’ve been in Russia awhile, you will need to carry around a backpack for all of the stores’ loyalty cards.  You can avoid this question by simply stepping up to the checkout and handing them the card.  Next, at most grocery stores, they will want you to do a quick trigonometry estimation.  The question is this:  “How many bags do you need?”  The best part about this situation is you won’t usually see any bags, and when you answer, the cashier will then ask if you want those to be big or small bags.  I usually just go with “four big”.  If you have underestimated, you are allowed to purchase as many bags as you want, even at the end of this maths exercise.  If you have overestimated, breathe easy, they are cheap, and now you have plenty of trash bags for the week.
• You Didn’t Find What You Were Looking For And Would Just Like To Leave Now: STOP!  No one is getting out of here just like that.  What does this place look like to you?  A center of free trade and commerce? No!  You may exit the grocery store in Russia in any way you wish, as long as it is in the exact spot that is not prohibited.  In all cases do NOT walk out through the cash registers, unless you fancy an encounter with the OXPAHA.  In most cases, do NOT walk out the way you came in.  Instead, look for a small sign, conveniently located at the far end of the store that says simply Выход без покупок”.  Approach this narrow gate.  Now, walk through it, without making any eye contact with the OXPAHA, breathing normally, and acting completely normal.  You should be just fine.  If you see no sign that says “Выход без покупок” then approach the entrance that you came in, making sure the OXPAHA sees you, then ever so calmly walk through.  Some stores allow this kind of riotous exit behavior.  However, some don’t.  So, if the OXPAHA tries to stop you, drop everything and run!  Just kidding.  Please don’t do that.  Instead, speak your foreign native language calmly and with a smile.  I congratulate you, you are about to receive an OXPAHA education.

Great, now you’re out of the grocery store in Russia and can get on with your day!  But what to do with your shopping trolley?  Well, there are two schools of thought here.

• Benjamin Franklin’s School of Thought:  We all know that “a ten-ruble coin saved, is a shopping trolley away”, so take that trolley back to its station and get your coin back.
• The Leviticus School of Thought:  The children of Israel were thus commanded:  “When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you.”  From this we learn that it is also okay to leave the shopping trolley at the edge of the supermarket parking lot as it will provide some gainful employment for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you.

Choose which of the above you prefer. And then we will know what kind of person you are.

Good job!  You have now successfully entered and exited a grocery store in Russia.  In no time, it will seem normal to you.  Later on, it will seem right.  Then you can be like my wife. A few years ago when she entered a Wal-Mart in America, she stopped and asked the greeter (whom she apparently mistook for an OXPAHA) where she should put her purse.  After a lengthy pause, he smiled and said, “You can just walk in!”.

If you would prefer some friendly and helpful local orientation over an OXPAHA education, check out Expat Flat Moscow.  They not only provide Moscow’s premier expat real estate service, but also provide local orientation, to make your move to Moscow as comfortable as possible.

If you are traveling between the East and the West, why not stop in the capital of the land where the East and West collide?  It’s true, perhaps you have dreamed of a visit to the Kremlin, followed by the obligatory selfie in front of St. Basil’s Cathedral.  And maybe you have even learned about Gorky Park’s metamorphosis into an urban oasis and would like to rent a bicycle for a leisurely ride along the Moscow River.