A List Of The Top 1 Word You Must Know To Sell Anything In Russia (VIDEO)

I would hear the word during the radio station commercial break, then in the newspaper, and then later on, shouting from a lofty billboard.  At first, this adjective would be used to describe geriatric music ensembles who were coming on tour to Russia.  Such as Uriah Heep.

And for Uriah Heep it somehow works.  But then the word became more loosely employed, in such a context that would certainly make the legendary Noah Webster himself drop dead in his grave.

This word was used in the advertising description of cellphone plans.  It was carelessly tossed around in relation to certain toothpastes.  Indeed, the Russian ad makers became so infatuated with the effectiveness of this simple adjective, that it was most likely used in connection with toaster manufacturers.

And like the legendary frog caught in the boiling water, I didn’t notice what was happening, even as the creeping temperature slowly rose, dulling my senses to this word parasite that would most certainly bring advertisement adjective annihilation to all products and services in this great nation.

So, what is the word?  I thought you would never ask.

Here it is:

A List Of The Top 1 Word You Must Know To Sell Something In Russia:

1)Legendary. <–That’s the 1 word you must know to sell something in Russia (Best uttered with a legendary manly voice in the legendary narration voice over).

You see, from what I know of Uriah Heep, never having heard any of their songs and never having been to any of their shows, they are a legendary rock group from the UK.  Take a moment to view, together with me, their legendary hit “Gypsy” performed in 2014 in Koko, London, and agree that Uriah Heep is made of the stuff of legend.

And there it is.  First YouTube comment under this video is: “absolute legends of rock i love it”.  I believe that does it.  We can now all agree with absolute certainty that Uriah Heep is legendary.

But recently, while driving down the road in Moscow  while sitting in traffic, I was simply minding my own p’s and minding my own q’s, when a commercial break broke the legendary straw on this legendary camel’s back.  And I knew that we needed to draw a legendary line in the sand like the legendary Davy Crockett did while mustering the forces at the legendary showdown at the Alamo.

The commercial was for a car.  The commercial said that “right now, someone in this car is accelerating, and someone is enjoying this car’s comfort and reliability”.  Then the narrator confidently stated that this motor vehicle is manufactured by a legendary Japanese brand.  I hadn’t really been listening to the commercial, but when I heard the words “legendary Japanese brand”, I immediately began to picture the ancient samurai, his two trusty swords strapped to his side, crossing the misty heights of Mount Hotakadake, under blood oath to defeat the mortal foe of his warlord.

Imagine my disappointment when I replayed the commercial in my head and realized that this legendary Japanese brand was none other than Datsun.  I’m afraid you won’t believe me, so I found the commercial on YouTube using modern legendary search engine techniques.  Take a look:

My deepest apologies if you don’t speak Russian.  You will just need to take my word for it.  There is a lost soul who is under the impression that Datsun is legendary.

You see, it seems that somehow we have all lost sight of what Ernst Bernheim penned in 1928, in his legendary work Einleitung in der Geschichtswissenschaft, that “a legend is simply a longstanding rumor”.  But hey, if you want your product or service to be known for being a “longstanding rumor”, why not just slap the word “legend” all over it.  Also, I just found that quote on Wikipedia.  I didn’t read the book.

I remember when my brother Tim turned 15, he bought a Datsun from a man named George for a few hundred dollars.  And since it would be some months before my brother Tim would receive his driver’s license, he contented himself with driving that rust bucket up and down the driveway.  That’s the whole story.  If that’s legend, then sure, why not.  Datsun is a legend.

But come to think of it, maybe I just need to relax about the whole thing.  An underwater kingdom named Atlantis?  Whatever.  That has now been replaced by the legendary new subdivision in Moscow’s suburbs.  A Fountain of Youth?  Pshaw!  What we all really need is a sip of that legendary fountain drink, Mirinda, at our local food court.  Ah yes, but what about the Odyssey?  Well, I think we all can agree that if Odysseus had simply been using a more legendary shaving cream brand, it wouldn’t have taken him ten years to return home.

But to be serious, the sad thing is, if we continue to slap the word “legend” on every known substance, then it begins to lose some of its meaning.  We begin to lose our way.

And we begin to believe that a Datsun is as great as Uriah Heep.  I rue the day.

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One thought on “A List Of The Top 1 Word You Must Know To Sell Anything In Russia (VIDEO)

  1. Reading through your blog cause its a rainy Saturday in Kyrgyzstan and it reminds me of Perm summers lol)) Anyway, I’d be remiss if I didnt point out that it was William Travis who drew the line in the sand and as the garrison leader was trying to muster up forces at the Alamo, Davy Crockett merely joined the forces and walked over Travis’s line. Sorry, as a Texan one cannot just sit in silence when such a grave mistake has been made 😛

    Like

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